Make a Choice

These past two weeks I've been going back and forth about what my future has in store for me, and what I can do to sway it in the right direction. I've never been that great of a decision maker, trust, if you knew me, the first thing I'd say once you get into my car is "where to?" or "you choose, I'm driving." Not that I'm a people pleaser per say, just that, I feel under constant pressure. After landing an internship with C&C California, which is owned by Perry Ellis and is the sister company of The Original Penguin, my entire school week has become ever so busy. MWF I'm in class from 10:30am to 11:30 then straight off to LA for internship and get back to Chino Hills around 7-7:30pm depending on rush hour traffic. Tues/Thurs I'm at school from 9am to 5pm and on call with C&C. Hectic right? Because of this, my stress level has risen two weeks into school especially since TOM 301 seems to be kicking my butt, and HARD.

But where is my time? Where is my time to relieve the stress, spend hours with dancers whom I can truly call family and who I share a very important and common interest with? After spending unbelievable amounts of time contemplating how I got to this point where I had to choose, I found myself letting go and shedding tears. My time was up, and although my heart will be forever committed to this team, this foundation that has been a huge part of my collegiate life, my time, or lack there of cannot commit. And with that, comes the breakup. So I met up with our executive director for a one on one meeting about everything that's been going on, how I feel, what I want, and what I can and can't do. It was emotionally excruciating, for the both of us. But he knew where I was coming from, and understood my reasons, and told me everything will be okay.

"Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else."

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and I'm not over exaggerating, I really felt like I was breaking up with a 3 year relationship, that had no means to part but the sole fact that there is not enough hours in a day. My emotions got the best of me, but needless to say, it only happens when it's in relation to something/one I truly and deeply care for and love. I have so much love for Barkada Modern, thank you for everything you've done for me, I will forever and always be here for each and every one of you, as well as the whole team itself, you all are truly amazing to me.

on BMod three, 1,2,BMOD, THREE!!!