Mutual

I finally uploaded my pictures from WOD, Fusion, and Ultimate Brawl onto facebook. Took me long enough right? I really should be writing my Philosophy paper right now, but all this reading about what is real and what isn't got me thinking. How do we really truly know what can be justified and what can't? I'm no philosopher, but after reading a few chapters, and catching up, the book had a great impact on me, and really got me to question myself, and how I got to today. I know, I try to live day by day, with a slight scheduled path thanks to my planner to keep my life a bit more organized, but lately I've been finding myself going home, back to my roots a lot. Scratch that, I pretty much go home EVERY SINGLE DAMN chance I get..even now, knowing I have an 8am class tomorrow, and the 91 westbound is ALWAYS traffic, I went home. Is it because I feel like I can make a difference if I were closer? Maybe because due to economic difficulties, I'm trying to prove a point to my parents. Idunno. I spent Mama's Day with my family, and it was such an amazing breathe of fresh air. I had a really good conversation with Ate Paw, sadly I've been left out of the loop due to my absence from the outside world. Lola is looking a bit better, I'm waiting and dreading for the 17th to come, hoping for the best. I pray every day. And then there's the 15 min or so text conversation I had with him on my Mom's birthday. It wasn't much, but it too was a breathe of maybe not fresh or new but rather, untouched air. It's been kept in the closet for a while collecting dust, I wanna clearly say I will always support you in what you do, and although we can't talk about it right now, you know I'm a hand up if you ever feel like everyone else is just letting you down. You were there for me in all my competitions and shows, even if you couldn't make it, I remember the texts of "gluck," it meant a lot, especially since my family lost support in me a long time ago.

I had lunch with Brandon today, I envy his happiness with Tiffany. I love the fact that he can come to me and talk about how wonderful his day was, just because of the little things. I'm happy for you Brandon! I guess lately I've just been feeling very nostalgic. And not about anything specific, bbut about a lot of things. I visisted my Lolo on Mom's Day wkend also, and standing there, talking him, picking at the flowers that stood so perfectly in his vase, I got sad because I couldn't even remember the last time I visited. And then I just got dissappointed in myself, knowing that I would always make time to visit him at least once every two weeks since college started, somewhere along the line, I lost my contact from the outside world, and lost track of time of when was the last time I drove to see him. Tomorrow is gonna be a dreadful day, I hate my classes because they are so boring, and they lag until 4pm. I want summer to come already, it'll get my mind off things, help me shake this feeling.